Yep, I'm getting a colonoscopy on Monday. Because I'm not excited about the procedure, I've put off paying attention to the preparation required. Just today, I glanced at the paperwork and got a rude surprise. The paper says I'm supposed to avoid raw fruits and vegetables as well as nuts and seeds.
Yikes. I'm a vegetarian. Sure, I can eat cooked vegetables but no nuts? No fruits?
Before I even read the preparation sheet I had already broken the rules. This morning I had oatmeal loaded up with a banana (bad), blueberries (bad), and walnuts (bad).
Bad, but really, really good.
I have a fresh avocado and baby lettuce begging to be eaten for lunch today. I have half-dozen ripe South Carolina peaches on my counter and at least one was going to be my mid-afternoon snack. Nope.
I called the nice lady at the doctor's office to confess--and to see what my options are. She told me not to eat any more of the 'bad stuff' between now and Monday. Kibosh on the avocado, lettuce, peaches and all other manner of deliciousness. I politely asked her what I could eat.
Her answer was: processed foods. I'm no food freak but really? Processed foods is the answer?
Process foods = healthy colon?
Well, of course not. But that's the way it's got to be. So in preparation for my colonoscopy on Monday, I'll spend this weekend enjoying mouth-watering processed foods.
She didn't say anything about beer...